Jan-March

i've been marking my life with my journals since i started writing in them daily which was at the approximate age of 10

today was an end of journal day. the plain black, no lines to hold me down Moleskin that Aly has an identical copy of

on the first page, i wrote myself a letter that reads as follows:

'DEAR KIAGEN,

these are magical times. keep up the vibrancy. fuck it. do what you want. know what you want. the key is always around your neck. remember that.

i love you

''why do opportunities come easily to me?''
''because you are always open'' -A&K'


nothing is really the same since then. nothing is ever the same. i tattooed the most important feeling in the world to me on my chest. i met Erick who is tangible sunshine and neck kisses and more inspirational than he'll ever know. i discovered just how much photography means to me while at the same time learning that photography will never be mine and that's the beauty. i have laughed more in these 3 months than maybe my whole life before that. i found myself a group of weirdos /friends who i love so damn much.

always always always learning. let's see where the next hunk of paper takes me.

love isn't scary.
i promise.

one day, you'll let go of the dam you built
and i'll be there with a kiss for your neck and a cupped hand for the
water.


i'm patient.

touch is better than a vibration of a vocal chord to me

but some like to
scream at the sea

just,
....really fucking happy and such. thanks for all the beauty and good things you inspire, ma cherie.

love is so good

but i might be confusing love for 

that brief moment when i wake up before everyone and feel the hum of sleep and the afternoon light hits his cheekbones in such a poetic way that it’s almost silly seeing as how

we crashed on a crusty futon after a night of inebriation, smoke breaks and psychedelic rock.

the thing is:

you put your warm mouth to my ear, thoughtlessly, and said

T’amo.

i’m taking that and pinning in to my 

shirt.

one man’s trash might just be a woman’s

treasure.

growth

the biggest thing i learned in the past year is how to own myself.


through several encounters with fuckpuddle dudes, i learned how to be brutally honest. how to crawl out of any night shamelessly in the morning, with or without my bra. i learned to love blatantly, regardless of the situation. i stopped apologizing and started communicating. it has been nothing but liberating.
more to come. always stretching.

THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY

always, always, always.