listohlove

i love watching my cat curl into himself. i love lightening storms. i love driving aimlessly. i love drinking hot water rather than cold. i love immersing myself in art. i love David Adam. i love irish coffee. i love that my spine is straighter than it was. i love anatomy. i love a day filled with things to learn. i love my glasses. i love gemstones. i love soul music. i love stretching. i love the ability to change. i love how much of a libra i am. i love reading in a hammock. i love how my muscles feel after a bike ride. i love fruit. i love having mountains for a backyard. i love scarves. i love the orthopedic grandma shoes i just bought even though i hate shoes. i love pretty much everything except cupcakes and allergies.

dear self,

please stop changing your mind all the time. especially towards giant life decisions.

regards,
self

eggzahhhstchyuuuun

in the past 48 hours i have:
biked 8 miles
worked 11 hours
slept 2 hours
woke up at 5
hiked a mountain barefoot in the sunrise
worked 9 more hours

currently collapsing on my bed, about to take a well deserved night of sleep. hoping Adam's camping trip is not getting stormed out/really wishing i had gone camping. comforted by my bulldog's snoring. yaaawn.

these lyrics always get me

So there was this woman and she was on an airplane,
and she was flying to meet her fiance seaming high above the largest ocean on planet earth.
She was seated next to this man she had tried to start conversations,
but the only thing she had really heard him say was to order his Bloody Mary.
She was sitting there and she was reading this really arduous magazine article about a third world country
that she couldn't even pronounce the name of.
And she was feeling very bored and despondent.
And then suddenly there was this huge mechanical failure and one of the engines gave out,
and they started just falling thirty-thousand feet,
and the pilots on the microphone and he's saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, oh my god... I'm sorry" and apologizing.
And she looks at the man and says "Where are we going?" and he looks at her and he says "We're going to a party.
It's a birthday party. It's your birthday party.
Happy birthday darling. We love you very, very, very, very, very, very, very much."
And then he starts humming this little tune, it kind of goes like this: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4

We must talk in every telephone
Get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues in the books that we have read
And in the face of every criminal
Strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare

We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist that sleeps but doesn't dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing

It'll go like this:

While my mother waters plants
My father loads his guns
He says death will give us back to God
Just like this setting sun is returned to this lonesome ocean

And then they splashed into the deep blue sea
It was a wonderful splash

We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run

We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge

And then we'll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then we'll see it, oh we'll see it, we'll see it, we'll see it

Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world's waking up
All the city buses swimming past
I'm happy just because
I found out I am really no one

lately

-hanging out in my underwear is a frequent occurrence
-(truth be told hanging out naked is a frequent occurrence)
-riding my bike all.over.this.city. 8 miles a day or so. i feel buff, and i also feel sweaty
-made my own shampoo! 1/4 c Dr. Bonners castille soap, splash of jojoba oil, splash of tea trea, splash of orange oil, some distilled water. bam. no crazy chemicals. happyhappy hair
-filled my room with chakra candles and dragons blood incense. acquired two protection gemstones from this psychic guy who fell in love with me and told me to learn self defense before i move to Pittsburgh on account of my beauty. aw.
-yes, i'm a hippie. yes, i believe in magic. and no, i won't squander myself to make you feel more comfortable
-cried all over Adam more times than my pride wants to admit. the idea of leaving him gets progressively harder
-discovered coconut juice and croquet
-bought my very first pair of heels ever. in case i ever need to kick some ass and look hawt doing it. they are red
-watched my dad's band open for f'in BOB MARLEY'S band. crazy awesome
-remembered how good i feel when i drink water, don't eat sugar, exercise, and listen to my body
-becoming rather excited for all the world-class concerts in my future

i trust that all will unfold like it should.

Please meet me at Neverland

First star on the right and straight on til morning.

schizophrenia. for susan

she won't look you in the eye and her
hands shake as she
organizes twelve pills a day seven days a drawn out week
things are fine for
now,
the tv runs, food stamps are in order, a smoke once in a
while.

she used to believe
Someone is after me
Someone is after me and i have to run away
she twisted her eight year old's hand in hers and told him they were going on an adventure
he was happy when his suitcase was stolen
he didn't have to carry it  from state to state to state
anymore.

               mom, you went to college?
               yes, i went to college
               teachers say college will make life good
               yes
               why isn't life good?

stability means being hallowed out and left to an empty room.